Solar Fake - Broken Grid (2008)

To overcome the barricades
With walls far too high to climb upon
To see the place beyond
If I go blind I will be found
Why should something divide you from me?

Out of equilibrium
All the different ways have ended far too soon
Every dream is locked in my head
When I try to get out of bed
To drown the next day without you

Hiding memories on the run
No mistake becomes undone
Hiding memories from the sun
Could I erase it just to stun

Trapped simplicity
To long for bliss and hope and harmony
But contradiction smiles at me
I choose to turn my head away
To face the unavoidable end

To overcome the days
My last attempt to disregard gravity
The view is mostly blurred
But the perspective doesn't hurt
I can't express how much I miss you

I try to stay so undetected, following you silently
Don't you notice me behind your back
I'm following in your tracks

Even if you're underwater
Gasping for the air to breathe
I'll be on your side to hold you down
You should have been aware

But your eyes believe in me
It's like always, every time
And you'd better not find me here in the dark
When the shadows rise again

And you will fight and scream in the stigmata rain
Stumble and fall, it's no use to complain
With my hands around your neck, finding passion to win
Dancing and laughing with you, where's the sin?
You try to hide, to resist the stigmata rain
Your escape plan will surely be in vain
Just don't talk to me, 'cause I hate to discuss
These damned questions of madness, frustration and lust

Waiting for the perfect moment
Nobody can observe us here
Awakened from our forced cold apathy in a raging scenery
If I could be understanding, I would give you one last chance
But it's so far beyond normality and familiarity

You seek, you hide, you cry for help
You stand, you fall, try to inhale
You talk, you ask just by despair
Don't tell me it's wrong, infamous, unfair

Like the raven to the dove
You always speak from far above
Got the spike still in your heart?
Do you remember where to start again
Those phrases, they expired years ago
You really love it when they bow to you
Still the same contemptuous smile
I know I'm getting over you

You think you're radical, rechargeable?
Inflatable! You're incurable
You think you're radical?
Not repairable! Infusible
You're never radical

With the anger of a rat
In the sewer, sensing blood
Did you score again with scorn
Be wary not to warn against fraud
The foundations of the house
That you've built up just to burn it down
I'll stay unapproachable to you
I know I'm getting over you

Marked down, the innocent victim, blindfold
Lost your bearings in the dark
The endeavour to sharpen the senses
That won't get you out of here

No words break through the silence in your head
As thoughts crash on the walls
And you stumble again and imminently will fall
Your pleading shall never be heard

But the shield was torn apart
As you try not to hide again
Your shield was torn apart
…defenceless and naked
But the seed that was sown has grown
Without any selection
The seed they've sown has grown
No chance now of correction

It hurts, your body is aching,
Reflecting the pain you have felt all those years
So invariable, every day
With no light to lead you out

It's useless wasting thoughts on escaping
To wash away all the tears of the nights when you cried
In pure isolation

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, oh, oh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs, runs, runs, runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here

Stopping the clocks to watch you breathing
The world I know and understand radiates your smile
And here I stand, I try to put my arms around you
I can't forget the thoughts and words and the dreams we've had
And here I stand…

Do you know that I'm here, even if you can't look at me
I'll always live my life for you, to be by your side
And here I am to take you home across the borders
And I long to give you everything I have

And here I stand on the puzzle
Every step I take is destruction
Here I stand with these pictures, it's just my imagination
Here I stand in this cold room, with your hand so pale and lifeless
Here I stand, I'm waiting for a further proof of your will

We always thought the world would be too small for us
We overthrew the things we couldn't stand any more
Here I am now, I close my eyes as time has passed us by
And I remember all the thoughts and dreams we've had

My life is trusted to myself
No hope, no fear, nothing around here
I care no more for things that I adore
You don't pray for God's help any more

I hate you and me and the whole world
Zero attraction for mankind's infection
Always taking shortcuts
A signatory with a broken hand

I keep my eyes shut when you want me to see
I keep my mouth shut when I don't want to speak
And if you try to touch me and I run away
You get cross, as you cannot feel my pain

I keep my eyes shut when you want me to speak
I keep my mouth shut when I don't want to see
And if you ask my questions and expect an answer
You get cross, when I don't waste futile words on you

Polarising separation
Serving poisonous mushrooms for dinner
Trapping myself without your fervour
I'm changing victims every hour

Hide the secret in your hand, it's getting weaker
There is no new life for rent to start again
Hide your face behind a mask, that's not the game for us
I'm amputating all your dreams, they'll never come true

Will you find me? I am deep inside your train of thought
Try to blind me, but I can always see through your eyes

You're the hero and the conqueror
You left everything behind, even the beauty of your smile
You're the hero and the conqueror
And I'll never follow you, just to stand right by your side

So I buried all the thoughts and all my memories
After rising, you fell down and we met again
And you begged for helping hands and for solutions
But there was nothing left in me except compassion

Can't you find me? I'm too deep inside your train of thought
You can't blind me, 'cause I can always see through your eyes

Should we care for insincerity
While we are floating away
And the faces pass us by

Should we care for this insanity
Destroying fears anyway
When curing is just a fake
When all desire is denied

Will we mind the instability
When hurting eyes can see
And cruelty overflows

Changing shapes, resembling constancy
But hiding at home in bed
Thinking aloud but speaking silently

All you need is
Retouching all your tears, ideas will rise, you'll overcome the years with
Retouching all your fears and you will rise
And overcome the tears

Purging out the rigid old beliefs
And realise what's new
Never justify yourself
If you could gain fame enough
To beg for understanding
But you'd never really care

Tearing down the monument
That's been a sign of what you stand for
The stones it's made from are too old to survive this
The future years in icy rain
When we'll be gone

You bear the torment sometimes
Hardly trusting yourself, sometimes
Standing motionless sometimes, when the fury takes control
Pretending glory for the blind, sometimes

Diving through an underpass
Running fast between the raindrops
Tracking down your intuition
Inverting words that we believed
And we are gone

Turning to the next page of your diary
It's blank and virgin white
All the lines are blurred, you swim on melted paper
Drowning false delight
You don't need to breathe, your eyes are clear
But where's your hope
To come up again and face the truth
The lies in life

Your hell is here
You're fighting monsters to get the constancy out of your head
But your hell, my dear, is feeding oceans
With your devotion to flood your sick world

You're pouring with the ink onto the background
It's just like a waterfall
The shapes are drawn so fast, but letters never talk or say a word at all
You still sit there, the words are gone that should pronounce
The uncut truth about your life, the lies in life

Sinking slowly down to the ground
But it's still above me
Drifting weightlessly in time and the seconds won't increase
It's so strange to fly and fall, but I pass the things I know
And these words I've never heard, I still don't understand

And I thought it could be wrong, to break the lines I walk upon
And I felt sure I'd finally find the whole puerility
In my eyes it's still the same, but in yours I see the flames
Burning all the candles down, that we lit so long ago

And if I tear the world apart I am wounding just myself
Every ending is a start in a wayward order
The custom to change the things you love
Will it lead to an impasse
Or will it all be light and dark but we're too blind to see

And even if I try to depart from my sole dimension
And I return to see the fault and no comprehension
I just wish that the hours would wash away
I'd truly have another try
But how much I ever strive, I can't remember anything