Diorama - Pale (1999)

I cannot see your smile
In any crowd I look
I cannot call your name
From here

I fall for your deceives
As if you were my friend
As if your shapeless words
Were mine

I know you lie to me
Although you speak the truth
The difference lies in
Your hands

I cannot see your smile
You won't distort my view
Companion, now I have
To walk the way behind you

As he stood and tried in vain to find justification

  • this cannot bloom in me for longer, with old desires getting stronger -
    Another man was passing by and for a glimpse it strangely seemed
    As if they were known to one another in spite of being contradictive

A cloud-like shimmering appearance, he raised his voice, began to speak
"Your existence drowns in failure, into a suffering decay"
Pale, accumulating letters, stuttering: "Relief?"
"Last time standing kid, and better take advantage of…"

Do not shiver in your sanity, at least you've got emotions
Do not shiver in insanity, at least you've got emotions, devotions

"Are you a wise man or a prophet, that you may judge and turn the key?"
"I never caused your intuition, thus it was bound to your deceit
The only reason for existence of the question why
Learn to cope with rare conditions, you didn't even know before"

Do not shiver in your sanity, at least you've got emotions
Do not shiver in insanity, at least you've got emotions, devotions

"I'll rejoin my old intentions, sinner you could call me not",
"Possible while sleeping-slumber, reaching out for dreams that - You've lost"
Glued to life he tried in vain, reduced - the essence of his body -
Entering slowly, smooth, declare a magnificent new sphere

I like your time I like your thinking
and drowning in your weird obsessions
I kiss your feet as you are walking by
and feel your potion on my lips

the sundance and your eyes
invincibly combined
still wondering what to pray for
tell me why I die to please you

I wait for you I wait for you now

Shouldn't it be sad that one's alive
unjust sentence to endure
reminding all the tears we drank together
you cannot leave me all alone

hesitation and my mind
invincibly combined
still wondering what to pray for
tell me why I die to please you

I wait for you I wait for you now
Your hazy breath -intoxicating-
illumination starts to fade
Blinded eyes cannot see a companion
a divided soul I offer to repay

I won't rely on someone's patience
another vision of delight
my childhood fears should lie in graves now
innocence I must deny

I wait for you I wait for you now

Emptiness dead-smooth and choking the air
I'm leaving Hollywood if you don't care
lost in the twilight of self-consciousness
trying to picture the smile you might wear

Where are the plastic doves ready to kill
the inspiration I try to fulfill
Cry for me sister on Valentine's day
you'll find me lying on Hollywood Hills

Spoke to an acolyte coming my way
the weather is fine what a wonderful day
his bloody robe suits him tolerably well
but he can never induce me to stay

Your double-dealing voice hits me so low
but I'm your henchman so I have to go
nobody sees that I'm only your frame
when I left Hollywood they all will know

Someday you gonna crucify me in a black-painted room
you gonna call all your opponents who gonna spit me in the face hit me in the face
and I will laugh about everyone
I'd cover my mug if I could

Emptiness dead-smooth and choking the air
I'm leaving Hollywood if you don't care
lost in the twilight of self-consciousness
trying to picture the smile you might wear
trying to picture the smile you might wear
trying to picture the smile you might wear

And if you offer everything you have
I still want more
Face and body lacking relevance
I still get bored

Cleft in frozen lakes I'm sailing on
Ancient scar
Try to reach me way too short your chains
Bound as you are

What an honest kind of lie
To the final answer I dare to ask you for

You took me this far
You made me need to change

Could you ever think I'd give
Attention to the true effect of your words
Of your disease

Uninfected I remain
Insensible immune and deaf
Untouchable like clouds

You took me this far
You made me need to change
You took me this far
I never will return

It's the feeling I won't anchor here
No rest impatient flood
A cowards' flight has turned to strolling walk
Or even pure attack

Still death is our rescue
But not this one - never this one
As apparing this end may be
Its caused grief is real heavenly and cruel

These smile-evoking silent lips
Will never speak a word again

Forgive me

Could this drama end, dazing drama end finally
All your miracles shining, miracles illusiory

I couldn't listen to, even hear your promised lullaby
Angel's wings are gone, angel's wings are gone
I'll never fly…

Still kept in motion, still operating
Scuff at the puppet
Far too late I severed like Kain from guilt
Flying from pale dreams

I was wrong

It's the feeling I won't anchor here
Follow now and drown like a stone
In a mental world cursed humanity
Reach for water like for gold

Too late now

Father never took, father never took advice from it
Brother started to, brother started to deny the deeds
I couldn't listen to, even hear your promised lullaby
Angel's wings are gone, angel's wings are gone, I'll never fly

I'll never fly

You…
Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… yeah
You…
Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… yeah

Still remember your smiling face, in the big crowd
Laughing, shouting and waving your hands…
Staring at me, instead of turning away to the show
Blind in one eye, I stood still, at the outside…
Yearning for a solution, while the dance is returning…
Faster, and faster towards me

The words in your letters, I couldn't decipher…
Never allowed to fall for the sun…
For, the rain is intended for me…

Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… Yeah
You…
Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… Yeah

Absorbed in the lips, of a graceful dancing princess
Too deeply affected too bright the sun…
But my shadows have always loved you
Empty stage, now, peace of mind…
Rememberance of the times instead…
Save another dance, only for me…
Only for me…

You…
Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… Yeah
You…
Come on, dance with me, to the end of the world… Yeah

Unvoice my swaying promises, unproved the impossible…
I cannot fall for the sun, the rain is intended for me…
Come on, dance with me to the end of the world…

Will you bear my everlasting sorrow?
Will you suppress my indifference?
Holy nail in my coffin
Holy queen of my illusions

Feeling pale like the moon above me
Here I am nude and immortal
Leave a tear on my pillow
My final resting place, my comfort

Talk to me, lie to me
Comfort me, lie to me

Still I'm dying to believe
That I have lost the air to breathe
Beloved failure has left
A thousand scars forevermore

Behind these masquerades and faces
Faithless long for forgiveness
And is the truth
Another fiction of you?

Can you sing, can you raise the dead?
Still I live for a hazy silhouette
Fill my eyes with your splendor
Like glassy jewels falling down on you

Your divinity tastes like perjury
And deception means the end
Can you feel, can you feel the burden
A sacred heart is longing for?

Will you bear my everlasting sorrow?
Will you suppress my indifference?
Holy nail in my coffin
Holy queen of my illusions

Systems slaved to secrets
Wisdom unsuspecting quest
Silence holy true old friend of mine
Timid tries to race me down

Another episode of wild complains
Closes chapters of childish struggle inside
Pale naked as now thoughts cannot deny
The purpose of neglecting lies

Withered fairy all my dedication
All my love for you

Believe in the signs I draw on your skin
Secrets now told as final advice

Believe in the signs I draw on your skin
Another queen that will never rise

Bring me flowers in the night
Lay your cheek down by my side
Leave my lovers full of need
And my brothers full of greed

Hush now, slowly come inside
Feel your neck glow, it's alright
See me sunk here in too deep
Bring me flowers when I sleep

Caressing hands, warm like the sun
I feel your breath inside my lungs
Smile peacefully and take
My hands on your face, I won't awake

Are you here for a final goodbye?
Did your soul fall or fly?

Love disguising fluid within
Your warm teardrops on my skin
All my lovers disappeared
And the others were never here

I drank the ashes of desire
Brought about and lost it all
Gloomy chamber fading light
Bring me flowers in the night

All your mercy is not melting with mine
Did your soul fall or fly?

Speechless and fearful
Suffocated by air
Escaped from your grasping
I couldn't stay there

One single day longer
Now that I had
Exposed what your facades
And walls didn't say

Talking by glances
People stay dumb
Hostile words getting
Even meaner like this

Attracted by wisdom
And seductive psalms
I followed your footsteps
Wherever I was

Your lap offered comfort
Deliverance your touch
Divine and indulgent
You hurt me so much

I woke up but it was
Already too late
I said if I shall die
Please never here

Leaving I may be
While knowing for sure
Soon I will be with you…
…again

Liquified in my lucid intervals
I gulp it down
Glutinous milk to wash away
The solitary taste you left on my tongue
Just enough to keep me spiraling
Until you come home
Until you come home

Don't talk to me like this
It hurts less when you're estranged
Don't talk to me like this
The truth's not yet arranged

I'm on top of the world
I'm cracked beyond repair
Oh yeah

Don't be there
Don't be there tomorrow
I will see through you
Right through you
Like through a ghost
Wishing I had never met you

Apathy my only strength
Given to me like a name
Can you really change a fact
I'll ride the wave I won't look back
Until you come home
Until you come home

In my circle - fading in and fading out
In my circle - the flawless tyranny the air as thick as honey
I'm caught and trapped
I'm caught and trapped
Rise up
Rise up
Lay down
Lay down with me
Caught and trapped
Caught and trapped

Don't be there
Don't be there tomorrow
I will see through you
Right through you
Like through a ghost
Wishing I had never met you

Iceblue shadow
Gliding through the air like wind
Will you follow
Me when I can't find the way

Am I wrong now
To hold onto your promised sun
Am I wrong now
To think ingrained beliefs can stay

How can I thaw
The frozen lakes between you and me
Unless you drown
Unless you drown the way I do

Bound for nowhere
Never move until I'm gone
My reflection
Unfold it safely in your arms

Molten diamonds
Crystallized your tears like salt
Still you follow
To live in dreams beyond recall

How can I thaw
The frozen lakes between you and me
Unless you drown
Unless you drown the way I do

Do you feel alive
Buried deep in ice
You can call my name
With your mellow voice
But why?

The yuppie is leaned against
the bar with the highest repute
and everyone is beckoning
him over to the grinning terrains

He tangoes to major chords
yelling intelligent quotes
about shocking french movies
and holes in the m-theory

They will hunt you down
they will hunt you down
until you're put on the right track again
until you match up to your talents again

Their deeds are efficient
their voices are dulcet
they know about water
they know about wine
about who's marrying who
and which kid's in the corner
and who always grabs the big share

So go with the yuppies stay invulnerable
go with the yuppies and stay in their company
always clocking in - never clocking out

They will hunt you down
they will hunt you down

I'm the crop of illusions
I'm stalking the streets at night
I'll make you let go of all your chances
if you cross my way